1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
