No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
