fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
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