Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
