Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
