there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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