Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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