My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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