Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
