I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
