Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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