i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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