Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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