when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
