I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
