Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
