I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
