I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
