Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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