Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
a search helicopter?!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
