Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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