I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
