So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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