He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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