Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
