I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
