Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My bed smells like the plague
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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