wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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