Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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