I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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