so that wasnt chicken after all
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize