i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
