I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
