Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
