it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize