There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
