Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
