with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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