I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's shark week go big or go home
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
