I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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