I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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