He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
