i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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