He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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