I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
