Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize