As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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