I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
