i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
