And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
