she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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