omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
