so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
