I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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