like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
