eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
