I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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