i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Buhtt sex?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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