i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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